Hyderabad has a strange relationship with the month of September. “Golconda fell to Mughal forces in the September of 1687. It was also a bleak day of September in 1911 when the mortal remains of Mahboob Ali Pasha, the 'beloved' Nizam of Hyderabad, were laid to rest at Mecca Masjid,” writes Sajjad Shahid, a heritage activist, in TOI.
But it is September 28 of 1908, when the once mighty Musi overflowed its banks and flooded the city, leaving death and destruction in its wake, that is etched in Hyderabad's memory.
Image: Wikimedia Commons
On the evening of September 26, 108 years ago, the rain began as a harmless drizzle and continued till the night. But by 11.30pm, the light drizzle had turned into a cloudburst, which continued into the morning. By 8 am on September 27, a Sunday, Hyderabad had received six inches of rainfall, writes Syed Akbar, a senior journalist on his blog. While the drizzle continued on and off for the entire day, on Sunday night there was another, more intense cloudburst.
The first warning came around 2am on September 28, when the water from the Musi flowed over the Puranapul bridge, breaching the rampart walls on the western side of the city. By 6am, the water was well above 10 feet, and reached the crown arc of Afzal bridge. In the next three-and-a-half hours, as its panic-stricken residents watched in disbelief, the water rose to 16 feet, overflowing the parapets of Puranapul, Muslimjungpul, Chadarghat and Afzal bridge.
The flood began receding by 8pm that day and the receding water revealed thousands of fallen houses, human bodies and animal carcasses in its wake – those which had not been washed away in the deluge. Over 50 colonies were swept away by the water, with the areas of Kosalwadi and Ghansi being the worst hit, where over 4,000 people perished to the fury of the Musi. The total death tollvaries with different reports. But the flood affected at least 2,00,000 people, who were left dead or homeless.
The Nizam of Hyderabad, Mir Mehboob Ali Khan, took to the streets to survey the damage and as Sarojini Naidu writes in her poem ‘The tears of Asif’, broke down in full public view at the sight before him. Mohammad Saifullah, noted historian in Hyderabad told Gulf News that the Nizam donated Rs 4.5 lakh (today’s value equivalent of Rs 5 billion) for repairs and fed about 80,000 people for three months following the disaster.
Image: Wikimedia Commons
Amidst the tragedy, there stands out the heartwarming story of the tamarind tree at the Osmania Hospital Complex, which saved at least 150 lives that day. Over 300 years old now, the tree provided refuge to many who clung to its branches watching the water wreak havoc beneath them.
Urdu poet Amjad Hyderabadi, who was one of the people saved by the tree later penned “Qayamat-e-Soghra”, a poem about watching his mother, wife and daughter being washed away in the flood.
More than a century later, the once mighty Musi has now been reduced to a giant sewer, thanks to indiscriminate urbanisation and a lack of urban planning. But while the Musi may not be overflowing its banks, the flooding in Hyderabad is another testament to the cost of unplanned growth.
It’s been twenty years since Silk Smitha died. When she was alive, Smitha did not get much respect from the film industry or the public. But reams have been written about her since her death.
From lauding her acting abilities in “Alaigal Oivathillai” to singing paeans about her beauty and brand of seduction, Smitha’s metamorphosis from shunned vamp to tragic queen in the public memory says a lot about how audiences have changed their approach to women in cinema.
Smitha worked primarily in South Indian films, mostly Tamil, Telugu and Malayalam. While the South Indian film industries are still male-dominated and exploitative, the conversation today focuses more on what it means to be a female actor in such an environment, and goes beyond the usual voyeuristic gossip about casting couches.
The majority of films that are churned out, especially in Tamil and Telugu, continue to objectify women and thrust them in blink-and-miss roles but this issue no longer escapes criticism or analysis.
Smitha was a good actor and in many of her films, she had more to do than just a dance number. But she never managed to reinvent herself as a heroine or “character” artist. Disco Shanti, Smitha’s contemporary and another actor who performed erotic roles, tried her luck as the heroine in many films before settling for the “item girl” tag.
The Madonna-whore duality was much stronger back in the 1970s and 1980s in South Indian films than it is now: a female actor was either typecast as a virtuous woman or as the vamp, and there was no going back and forth. Ramya Krishnan, who entered films in the early eighties, is perhaps one of the few women actors from those times who has managed to play a wide range of roles, from the seductive other woman to an enraged goddess, and continues to surprise us with her role selection.
Things have changed slowly over the years. Admittedly, perhaps not from one end of the spectrum to the other. But it has become more acceptable for a woman actor to explore her versatility when the opportunity presents itself.
For instance, Anushka Shetty is equally comfortable playing a sex worker or a cross-dressing queen, a “glamour doll” or an overweight young woman. Others like Trisha and Nayantara, who have made their careers in the masala film genre, take on performance-oriented roles whenever they get a chance.
As for “item” songs, A-listers are willing to wear racy clothes and dance to raunchy numbers that were restricted to the “bad girls” of the industry earlier. Take Kajal Aggarwal who routinely plays the “innocent” girl-next-door – her most recent outing was an item number replete with double entendres in “Janatha Garage”.
Madhuri Dixit is credited with having started the “respectable” item girl trend in Bollywood with “Tezaab”, which subsequently filtered down to the South over the years. Hence, though a Mumtaz or a Mumaith Khan may enjoy their time in the sun for a while, they are not really as necessary as Silk Smitha and other “nautch” girls were to sell a film in their era. The "vamp" these days appears as the villain's arm candy and disappears without creating much of a flutter.
Further, with the internet and easy accessibility to sexually explicit content, it is unlikely that a film can ride on the popularity of one “dirty” song alone, however scandalous.
There are two ways of looking at this: on the one hand, it is worth celebrating the fact that female actors can play diverse roles without getting stuck in the “image” trap but on the other, it is saddening that the male gaze has only grown stronger and more intrusive with the years. It is also worth asking how many of these female actors would perform “item” numbers if more substantial roles came their way or if the directors and producers (mostly male) who rule the industry did not lay it down as a condition for them to survive.
Silk Smitha lived at a time when things were black and white. You were either the good woman or the bad on screen. If she had been a heroine in the new millennium, she may have enjoyed more respect and acceptance from people in the industry and outside of it for what she did. But though this is a welcome change, it is only a silver lining to what is still a grey cloud.
You know all the jokes people make about Indian films never showing what Hollywood movies dare to? We’re prudes who’d rather show flowers kissing than two human beings doing it. Well, every industry has its own rules and Hollywood has a few too. Here are five things you commonly see in Indian movies but almost never in a Hollywood flick.
Naked babies: Hollywood is all right with showing naked adults but is very careful about showing naked children, even in non-sexual contexts. Yes, it’s true that while adults can give their consent to act without their clothes, children cannot.
But is it always about consent? I was watching the animation film “Storks” which is about a delivery service for babies run by the birds. There is a shot which shows a naked baby tumbling down the baby-making machine but where the baby’s genitals should have been is a big blank. The baby is then hastily wrapped in a nappy. There’s no question of consent here, considering the baby isn’t real.
Was it because it’s a children’s movie? But so what? Sex education begins pretty early in the West and anatomically detailed boy dolls and girl dolls are available to teach very young kids about the body and good touch-bad touch. Considering there was nothing sexual at all about the scene in “Storks”, what was the harm in showing a baby the way it is?
Indian movies, on the other hand, are very careful about showing naked adults but are perfectly all right with showing naked babies and small children. Admittedly, we can afford to have more rules about this but well, if we’re prudish about certain things, Hollywood has its own prudery too.
Men being affectionate with each other: Hollywood films frequently feature gay couples and they are mostly shown with dignity. Even in children’s movies, the film-makers make sure that there’s adequate “diversity” and “representation”. But Hollywood movies rarely show men touching each other if they’re not gay. An awkward hug at best is all that can be shown.
Indian movies, on the other hand, almost never show gay couples unless they’re parodying them. But bros do everything from sleeping next to each other - bodies entwined - to feeding each other with great affection. In the Tamil film “Thenkasi Pattanam”, Sarath Kumar even bathes his friend Napolean!
Hitting dogs: I don’t quite know what’s with Hollywood and dogs. I was watching “Don’t Breathe” in which a drooling Rottweiler is charging at the protagonists. It’s pretty clear that the dog has only one agenda in its head: rip their throats. But what do these folks do? They trick the dog and shut it inside a room.
In “The Omen” series, too, the hellhound – a dog straight out of hell, mind you – only gets trapped and locked away.
In an Indian film, it’s likely that the hero would have lifted the attacking dog (with one arm) and chucked it out of the window. We’re okay with showing people throwing stones at dogs too.
Even over-the-top politically incorrect Hollywood comedies like “You don’t mess with the Zohan” and “The Hangover” series which portrayed animal abuse as funny, stayed clear of messing with dogs.
Only when the film is about an insufferable dog like Cujo who cannot be saved in any way because he has rabies, will Hollywood dare to show a dog coming to some kind of harm from the people we’re supposed to like.
Slapping children: Just as it’s not okay to show the good people hitting a dog in Hollywood movies, it’s not okay to show them hitting a child either. Unless it’s explicitly shown as child abuse…in which case, it would be the bad people doing it. Just to be clear, it’s not as if parents in the West don’t ever indulge in corporal punishment although it is frowned upon a lot more there than it is here.
In Indian movies, a tight slap is a sign of love. Parents can hit their adult children and smaller ones too. Why just parents, any adult can hit a child and sometimes, it can even be funny! Remember this scene from “Punnagai Mannan”? You’d never find something like this in a Hollywood film.
Body hair on men: Yes, Pierce Brosnan was famous for his chest hair but that was in the 90s. Hollywood has done away with body hair since then even for its male stars. If some of them continue to sport it, it becomes “exotic”, something to write about. In Indian films, especially South Indian ones, body hair on men is still something we’re cool with. Nothing to make a song and dance about anyway.
This might soon change though. Bollywood has already smoothed out its men and in the South, actors like Suriya have done away with chest hair in sequences that require them to be shirtless. Malayalam films still have hairy heroes but who knows for how long before the deforestation happens!
If you’re active on social media, chances are you’ve seen this video doing the rounds. The poet performs a piece titled “Everything’s fine”, which is about why he cannot tell his friend what is really bothering him:
The young man is Shamir Reuben and what you saw in the video is not merely a hobby for the 23-year-old. It’s his passion and his profession. Shamir is one of the country’s many emerging talents in slam poetry, a form of performance and powerful expression fast catching up in India.
In the last two years, there are many such videos of performances which have gained popularity on the internet. And there’s a burgeoning population of teens and young adults choosing spoken word poetry to talk about things as mundane as a blue umbrella or as personal as relationships, depression and suicide.
What is spoken word poetry?
For Shamir, it started two years ago at a college workshop where he read out “Dear Mom”, a poem about his mother who suffered from cancer and passed away in 2012. “Roshan Abbas was conducting the workshop and he told me that I should perform for him, but next time, without a piece of paper clutched in my hand,” he recounts.
Shamir memorized the poem and returned in 2015, performing as a spoken word poet for the first time at Blue Frog, Mumbai. Since then, there has been no turning back for him. He now works as the head of content and social media at Kommune, a venture by Roshan Abbas, which curates performances by poets, storytellers and musicians across India. He has also performed in Mumbai, Pune, Delhi, Bengaluru and Goa.
But what is spoken word poetry and how is it different from good old poetry recitation?
According to Poetry Slam Inc., an American NGO established in 1997 and overseeing international coalition of poetry slams, this performance format is made distinct by two things: it is a “competitive art of performance poetry” and places “dual emphasis on writing and performance”. It essentially means that the poems performed must be original at all times. And while there are slam poets, Poetry Slam Inc. does not recognise the term “slam poetry”. It refers to it as “spoken word poetry”.
Shamir says that spoken word poetry is different from recitation because it is aimed at breaking the barrier between the performer and the audience. “It’s an audience-heavy sort of performance, where you play off the reactions of the audience,” he says. Poetry Slam Inc. also specifies a much more active role for the audience than mere spectatorship. Not only can they react openly and vocally during the performance, but the poets are scored not just by judges but by the audience also.
Where did it begin?
Spoken word poetry was born in 1984 in Chicago when a construction worker, Marc Smith, started poetry reading at a popular club as a way to democratize poetry and bring it to the masses. Two years later, he approached the owner of a jazz club to make the readings competitive and a weekly affair.
The format gained popularity thereon but it was the internet which really put spoken word poetry into the limelight. In 2011, a TED performance by Sarah Kay, a renowned American spoken word poet was shared widely on social media. Titled "If I should have a daughter", the performance served as the entry point for many Indians to spoken word poetry.
Why is it catching on?
Shruthi Mohan, who oversees Open Sky, a 20-month-old open mic platform which has featured slam poets among other artists across many cities, says that spoken word poetry’s popularity in India owes plenty to social media and YouTube. That spoken word poets generally belong to the younger lot, and speak about issues like sexuality, gender, mental health and relationships which make for shareable content, also helps.
“Plus ranting and venting as a form of expression has become more acceptable on the public platform. That has contributed to the format’s popularity too,” the 22-year-old says.
24-year-old Nandini Varma and Shantanu Anand (her classmate) co-founded the Airplane Poetry Movement (APM) in 2013 in Pune, under the mentorship of Campus Diaries. It was one of the earlier spoken word poetry platforms in India.
“At the time, only a few other groups like Delhi-based ‘Mildly Offensive Content’ and ‘Bring Back the Poets’ were there. There may have been others earlier but spoken word poetry had started becoming more visible around this time,” she says. APM is now based in Bengaluru.
Nandini recalls how things have changed in the last three years. From having six performers and about 20 people in the audience in their first event, APM, along with Capus Diaries, recently organized India’s first National Youth Poetry Slam (NYPS) in Bengaluru on September 17 and 18. Not only did it have 75 performers who qualified for Bengaluru and 1200 people in the audience, one of the judges was Sarah Kay herself, which Nandini says, was a landmark achievement for APM as well as the spoken word poetry culture in India.
How do the poets do it?
“What stands out about spoken word poetry is that it is intensely personal and written with a performance in mind,” Nandini observes. But this also means that performers must draw on something very intrinsic to make the audience believe each performance. For Shamir, who has performed at least two poems about his mother’s demise, it is still a challenge.
“Reliving those memories again and again does take its toll on me. Some days, you just want to block it out and not write anymore. But then I read the comments and the feedback I’ve received. So many people have told me that they have gone through something similar, but couldn’t really put their suffering into words. I think I find motivation in making pain more relatable for people,” he explains.
But like Nandini and Shamir, can slam poets make it a full-time profession? Nandini says that there is a long way to go, but it’s definitely happening. “People still need a little push to pay to watch slam poets perform. But over a thousand people just paid 1200-1500 rupees to watch youngsters talk about their experiences and lives through spoken word poetry (at NYPS). So there’s definitely scope,” Nandini smiles.
Teens and young adults are choosing spoken word poetry to talk about things as mundane as a blue umbrella or as personal as relationships, depression and suicide.
“Parched” actor Tannishtha Chatterjee has hit out at the television show “Comedy Nights Bachao Taaza” for its unending obsession with her skin colour.
In a Facebook post on Wednesday, Tannishtha calls out the show for resorting to “racist content” and passing it off as humour, also highlighting that “jokes” about skin colour are not just racist, but also casteist in India.
Tannishtha writes in her post that she had gone on the show to promote the film “Parched”, and had been told in advance that the show would follow the pattern of a “roast”. Based on her perception of roasts on American shows like “Saturday Night Live”, Tannishtha had looked forward to getting roasted on the show.
“And then this show began… And to my utmost horror, I soon realised that the only quality they found worth roasting about in me was my skin tone,” writes Tannishtha. “It began with ‘aap ko jamun bahut pasand hoga zaroor… kitna jamun khaya aapne bachpan se?’ And went on in that direction,” she writes.
The actor, known for her performances in “Brick Lane”, “Shadows of time”, “Unindian”, “Island City”, and “Angry Indian Goddesses” walked out of the show when she couldn’t stand the content any longer.
In her post, she says that she couldn’t believe that a nationally televised comedy show in 2016 could subject her to, “such regressive (I can’t call it humor), and blatantly racist content.”
She adds that the makers of the show failed to understand why she was objecting to the jokes when she had been told that it was a roast, and that some of her friends also told her not to take the jokes seriously.
“Except there is nothing funny about this. Precisely because, in a country where we still sell ‘Fair n Lovely/Handsome’ and show adverts where people don’t get jobs because of their complexion, where every matrimonial advert demands a fair bride or groom and the color bias is so strong, in a society which has a deep-seated problem with dark skin, which also has deep roots in our caste system, in a country where dark skin is marginalized, making fun of it is not roast.”
Pointing out that she is not taking offense at a personal level, but rather at a social level, the actor adds, “Even considering that dark skin is a joke comes from that very deep prejudice.”
Describing an earlier incident in which a man indirectly asked her why her skin tone was dark despite having two Brahmin parents, the actor says that although we may not admit it, we associate fair skin with upper castes and dark skin with lower castes. “This is so deep rooted and linked to our perceptions of caste, class and skin tone,” she writes.
Sexual desire can change from moment to moment. One minute you’re feeling frisky, and the next you just feel like a cup of tea and a nap.
Even though sexual desire is exciting and pretty important in terms of how we ended up here, research on when and why we experience sexual desire is limited.
Our research seeks to shed some light on the nature of sexual desire; how it differs between people and within the same person.
Do men have a stronger sex drive?
Are men hot-blooded, sex-driven creatures that think about sex every seven seconds? Not quite. Men do think about sex more than women (34 times compared to 19 times a day – so about every 1,700 seconds), but men also think about food and sleep more than women. So, men are needs-driven creatures, not sex-driven per se.
It should also be noted women are far from sexless creatures, around 20 separate sexual thoughts per day is well over one per waking hour.
Do we desire sex less as we age?
Age is another thing we might think has a big effect on sexual desire. A study of adults aged 18-59 found as we get older we are more prone to sexual dysfunctions. For example, older men are more likely to experience erectile dysfunction and older women are more likely to experience difficulty lubricating, which can lead to vaginismus (pain during sex).
However, ageing is not necessarily associated with a decrease in sexual desire. Two national surveys of Finnish adults aged 18-74 and 18-81 found once a number of other factors were accounted for, including sexual functioning, attitudes towards sex, and relationship closeness, ageing had no effect on sexual desire.
Ageing was, however, related to having sex less often, even after controlling for these factors. So perhaps older people feel just as frisky as they did when they were in their 20s, but, for whatever reason, they are less likely to engage in sex.
Does a high sex drive mean better sex?
Sexual desire, unsurprisingly, is important for our relationship and sexual satisfaction. In one study focusing on couples, they found the more people experienced sexual desire throughout the day, the better their sex lives.
The important point here is that we shouldn’t “switch off” sexually during the day – a healthy fantasy life that boosts our desire outside the bedroom could lead to a better time once the bedroom door is closed and the action begins.
Feeling like sex versus feeling like a nap
When it comes to what factors control sexual desire, hormones are important to consider. For men, as levels of testosterone increase, sexual desire is also likely to rise. For women, however, the effect of testosterone and other hormones on desire is less clear.
There is some evidence women’s sexual desire changes at different stages of their ovulatory cycle. One study found that as levels of testosterone increased (mostly during the time around ovulation: days 12-15), women engaged in more sexual activity.
This association was stronger among women not in a relationship compared to women with a partner. Hence, women’s hormones do appear to play some role in controlling sexual desire, and this effect may be especially strong among single women.
A common belief is that the contraceptive pill diminishes women’s libido. However, a review of existing research found no consistent effect of the pill on women’s libido; most women experienced no change in libido as a result of taking the pill, some experienced a slight increase, and others a slight decrease.
But what about psychological and environmental factors? Does desire change depending on who we’re with? Does it change depending on how we feel about our bodies, or stress, or alcohol consumption? These questions are yet to be tested, so at present, the impact of daily life on sexual arousal remains largely a mystery.
If you would like to find out when and why your sexual desire changes, please click here to participate in our study.
One of the earliest memes after the Cauvery issue broke out featured the AIADMK MP, Navaneethakrishnan, who rose to dubitable fame by singing about Kashmir in Parliament. The meme suiggested that given half a chance he would have belted out another song on the Cauvery too.
It wouldn’t come as much of a surprise, since if recorded history and literature are anything to go by, Cauvery – despite being a hotbed of controversies now – has always been the most loved, most cherished and celebrated of rivers flowing through Tamil Nadu. Tamil literature is peppered with paens to the river, going all the way back to the Sangam age.
Cauvery has found an inimitable mention in several works of Sangam literature. Perhaps the most important mention is in “Pattina palai” which talks of the Cauvery as a river that never fails, even if the sky does (வான் பொய்யினும் தான்பொய்யா, மலைத்தலை இய கடற்காவிரி - Vaan Poyyinum Thaan Poyya, Malaiththalai iya kadar kaviri). Other homages to the glory of the flowing Cauvery come up in poetic works including the “Puranaanooru” and “Porunaraatru Padai”.
In a later age, the “Kamba Ramayanam” (the 12th century work on Ramayana by Kambar) draws parallels between Kosala Naadu and Chola Naadu, speaking of the Chola Naadu’s fertility thanks to the Cauvery.
But perhaps the best sign of the Cauvery’s importance to Tamil Nadu is the mention it receives in “Silappadhikaram” – one of the five great epics in Tamil. Several songs in Silappadhikaram speak eloquently on how the flowing Cauvery makes the Chola Naadu (now the Delta region) flourish.
(Long live this fertile country! Long live the Cauvery that nurtures the country like a mother)
Elangovadigal, the author of Silappadhikaram, penned several songs in the epic in the form of Aatruvari padalgal (songs sung to a river) and coined the iconic idiom “Nadanthai Vaazhi Cauvery” (And you walked! Long live Cauvery).
Much later, Thi Janakiraman – a well-known writer in Tamil – would call his travelogue along the banks of Cauvery, “Nadanthai Vaazhi Cauvery”. This travelogue remains a cult classic in modern Tamil literature till date.
Going back to the “Silappadhikaram”, the Cauvery Perukku – a festival celebrated to this day as Aadi Perukku finds a mention too. Celebrated on the 18th day of the Tamil month Aadi, Aadi Perukku is a festival marking the inflow of new waters in the rivers. People in the delta region celebrate the festival to pay tribute to the Cauvery’s fertility. Aadi Perukku has been and remains an important festival for farmers and women in Tamil Nadu.
Through centuries, the Cauvery has been flowing into our lives. Through immortal songs and festivals, the river has been etched into the soul of Tamil lands. For those in the Delta region, the Cauvery is an immortal source of life, who never fails them, even when skies do. For the rest of us, she is a shining literary icon – an indelible part of our culture.
There's plenty that women in India must deal with - letching, leering, the denial of basic rights and of course, a smothering patriarchal mindset. But the double standard with which we treat women is exposed most starkly by how we revere our goddesses.
Mumbai-based photographer Victoria Krundysheva noticed this irony in daily incidents around her, which inspired her to conceptualise a photo series called 'Lost Indian Goddesses'.
"What struck me was the hypocrisy of worshiping goddesses yet degrading the women around you. So much power given to women in myths and vedas, yet in life they are frowned upon for taking any decisions for themselves. It hasn’t been a sudden insight – more of a journey towards a boiling point," she says.
Victoria posted pictures from the project on Facebook on September 19. "Those goddesses you worship are walking daily among us, but you choose to humiliate, harass, rape, disrespect or simply discriminate [against] them. It is time you open your eyes to the actual goddesses..." reads the description.
Here are some of the photographs from the series:
Your goddess Kali is naked but you ask your girlfriend to cover up, criticize that woman in crop top, make your daughter conscious of her body. Instead of conquering evil she is fighting herself.
You welcome Laxmi at your home, but frown upon bahu who's making a career and expect your daughter to leave work after marriage.
You praise Saraswati but don't consider that girls can be in a rock-band and art is not a serious enough profession for you.
You worship all-powerful Durga, but tell women to know their place.
You call women who drink indecent yet have a Varuni- goddess of wine in vedas.
You can see more work by Victoria on her Facebook and Instagram pages.
If the clandestine nature of road trips and romanticisation of hitchhiking aren’t enough for you, picture this: Going on a road trip with your furry best friend, your dog of course! Just you and your buddy riding off into the sunset.
But a trip with pets isn't going to look anything like that rosy picture you just saw unless you prepare first. For instance, did you know that dogs too suffer from motion sickness and that you shouldn't feed them before they sit in the car?
Swati Tondon, an expert at whatspup.in, a website providing pet supplies, services and accessories, shares some tips and tricks to keep in mind while travelling with your four-legged friends.
Motion sickness: Like humans, dogs too feel sick in the stomach in a moving car. Half an hour before taking him in the car, you should give him a medicine for motion sickness. Consult the vet about what medicine to give. The vet will prescribe the medicine depending on the size and the weight of your dog.
Vet alert: Our dogs mostly stay at home and don't travel a lot. The only time they get into the car is to go to the vet and start associating cars with vet visits. Make them believe that they are not going to the vet and occasionally take them out for drives or to parks.
Food: Do not feed the dog right before it sits in the car. Feed him at least an hour before travelling. Always remember to keep the portion small. The same rule applies for water. Do not give him too much water right before the drive.
Walks: Before you make him sit in the car, take him for a good walk so that he gets tired and fall asleep in the car.
Travel bags: Make a travel bag for the pet. The bag should contain a first aid kit, water, treats, bowl, wet and dry tissues, potty scooper, lint roller and a seat protector for the car.
Drive: Do not drive too fast and be careful with the bumps and speed breakers.
Windows up: Even if your pet enjoys with the windows down, do not let him hang out as it is dangerous. The pet might get excited and can try to jump out.
Pet breaks: If you are travelling for a long distance take a break in every half an hour, take your dog out of the car and make him/her walk a little.
Parents of boy meet parents of girl. An arranged marriage is fixed and a date set. Cut to the day of wedding. The couple ties the knot. In the bedroom, as the man and woman move closer to each other, the light dims and the audience in India takes the director’s cue - the newlyweds have sex.
This is how scores of films and TV serials in India have portrayed the “first night”.
But real life happens to be quite different and couples may not have sex on the night of their wedding. The common reasons being that the couple may be exhausted by the end of the wedding festivities, and in the case of a conservative arranged marriage, the bride and groom may not even be very comfortable with each other in the first place.
An anonymous user, sharing her experience, wrote that she and her husband had sex only when they grew comfortable with each other.
"We got off the plane & went straight to our hotel. To be honest, that’s when I finally realized I was on a HONEYMOON! PEOPLE GO ON HONEYMOON TO HAVE SEX! All the first-night jokes my friends cracked were coming back to me. My husband had paid for a 2-week UK tour for us himself. He didn’t take money from his dad, my dad, or even from my savings despite my repeated insistence. And I have a lot of male friends, so I know how guys think. He was spending a lot of money, & guys usually expect action when they splurge on a girl they aren’t in love with. So yes, I was shitting my pants," she writes.
What her husband told her that night, she said, laid the foundation of their relationship. He told her, “We will someday make love, but you don’t owe it to me. Let it come naturally, & we’ll enjoy every step of falling in love as it comes.”
Describing his experience, another anonymous user narrated how his was an arranged marriage, but "we did not wait till our wedding to do what couples do on their special night".
The user and his fiancé used to meet before their marriage, something which was prohibited according to their customs.
He recalled a day when both of them were alone in her flat: "Both of us had been on a couple of dates before but we were never in such a situation before. To break the ice, she started talking about something. After a few minutes, there was again complete silence. She came close to me and kissed me on the cheek. I was awestruck. I was unable to fathom what just happened. She then told me to kiss her back. I was reluctant at first, but then I thought that she can consider breaking off the marriage because of this incident. I kissed her back on the cheek. They were simply small pecks as in what you give to a child."
A user who got married around eight years ago describes how he and his fiancé got intimate on their first date and yet did not "go all the way" till the day of their wedding, mostly due to space and privacy constraints. "We finally got married and went all the way in a 5 * Star Hotel on the very night of the marriage."
Anup J Kat/ Pickle Jar
Not everyone, though, had a memorable tale to tell.
One user described the trauma a friend went through after her wedding.
The user wrote, "Her husband forced her sex on the third day of her marriage. They even didn’t meet before marriage nor had any good conversation. She said she felt like a slave in those days."
A vast majority of Indians still prefer arranged marriages, with a 2013 survey suggesting that around 75% prefer their family picking their future life partner.
Not having sex on the night of marriage is, however, not exclusive to arranged marriages and can also hold true for love marriages.
Some of the most common reasons stated were that the groom was too drunk, the bride was exhausted and fell asleep, arguments during the wedding reception and staying up all night partying.
Speaking about the change in attitudes towards the honeymoon, W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist and director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, had told The New York Times in 2012, "Today, when about 65 percent of couples cohabitate prior to marriage, the honeymoon is less likely to be a major turning point in their relationship."
Another survey by lingerie brand Bluebella also had similar findings with more than half of newlyweds saying that they did not have sex on the night of their wedding.
"Couples are under so much pressure these days to have a 'perfect day' that it is refreshing that so many are defying expected norms and doing exactly what they want. If that means saving the ‘wedding night’ until they can really enjoy it, then why not?" Emily Bendell, chief executive, Bluebella, toldBustle.
According to the survey's finding, 16 per cent of the respondents said they were disappointed by wedding night sex and nine percent waited for two days before getting intimate.
Target recently staked out a position in the culture wars by announcing that it will build private bathrooms in all its locations, after earlier allowing transgender customers to use whichever room corresponds with their gender identity – both actions sparking anger from many conservatives.
While big business hasn’t always been on the vanguard of social justice, in recent years companies like Target, Apple and even Wal-Mart have increasingly taken positions that put them squarely on the side of socially progressive activists. So how did Che Guevera – the face of the Cuban Revolution – become CEO of corporate America?
When I first began studying the interactions between social movements and corporations 25 years ago, it was rare to see business take a public stand on social issues. Yet today we see organizations ranging from General Electric to the NCAA weighing in on transgender issues, something that would have been hard to imagine even a decade ago.
Traditionally, corporations aimed to be scrupulously neutral on social issues. No one doubted that corporations exercised power, but it was over bread-and-butter economic issues like trade and taxes, not social issues. There seemed little to be gained by activism on potentially divisive issues, particularly for consumer brands.
A watershed of the civil rights movement, for example, was the 1960 sit-in protest by students that began at a segregated lunch counter in a Woolworth store in Greensboro, North Carolina, and spread across the South. Woolworth’s corporate policy had been to “abide by local custom” and keep black and white patrons separated. By supporting the status quo, Woolworth and others like it stood in the way of progress.
But negative publicity led to substantial lost business, and Woolworth eventually relented. In July, four months after the protest started – and after the students had gone home for the summer – the manager of the Greensboro store quietly integrated his lunch counter.
In general, companies were more worried about the costs of taking a more liberal stand on such issues, a point basketball legend and Nike pitchman Michael Jordan made succinctly in 1990. Asked to support Democrat Harvey Gantt’s campaign to replace segregationist incumbent Jesse Helms as a North Carolina senator, Jordan declined, reportedly saying “Republicans buy sneakers, too.”
And companies presumed that taking controversial positions would lead to boycotts by those on the other side. That’s what happened to Walt Disney in 1996 as a result of its early support for gay rights, such as “gay day” at its theme parks. Its stand prompted groups including America’s largest Protestant denomination, the Southern Baptists, to launch a boycott, calling Disney’s support for gay rights an “anti-Christian and anti-family direction.” The eight-year boycott, however, was notably ineffective at changing Disney policy. It turns out that too few parents had the heart to deny their children Disney products to make a boycott effective.
Since then, some of the biggest U.S. companies have taken similar stands, in spite of the reaction from conservatives. For example, when the Arkansas legislature passed a bill in March 2015 that would have enabled LGBT discrimination on the grounds of “religious freedom,” the CEO of Wal-Mart urged the governor to veto the bill.
Not surprisingly, given Wal-Mart’s status in the state and the corporate backlash that accompanied a similar law in Indiana, the governor obliged and eventually signed a modified bill. That din’t sit well with Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, however, who argued in The New York Times that companies in those states were joining “left-wing activists to bully elected officials into backing away from strong protections for religious liberty.” He warned companies against “bullying” Louisiana.
Why have corporations shifted from “abiding local custom” around segregation and other divisive social issues to “bullying elected officials” to support LGBT rights?
Changing environment
In my view, there are two broad changes responsible for this increased corporate social activism.
The rapid spread of the Occupy movement in the fall of 2011, from Zuccotti Park in New York to encampments across the country, illustrates how social media can enable groups with a compelling message to scale up quickly. Sometimes even online-only movements can be highly effective.
When the Susan G. Komen Foundation cut off funds to Planned Parenthood that were aimed at supporting breast cancer screenings for low-income women, a pop-up social movement arose: Facebook and Twitter exploded with millions of posts and tweets voicing opposition. Within days the policy was walked back.
Mozilla’s appointment of a new CEO who had supported a California ballot proposal banning same-sex marriage also generated outrage online, both inside and outside the organization. He was gone within two weeks.
More recently, Mylan’s exorbitant price hikes on its EpiPen took place over several years, but an online petition fueled by social media this summer turned it into a scandal and a talking point for presidential candidates.
In each case, social media allowed like-minded “clicktivists” to draw attention to an issue and demonstrate their support for change, quickly and at very little cost. It’s never been cheaper to assemble a virtual protest group, and sometimes (as in the Arab Spring) online tools enable real-world protest. As such, activism is likely to be a constant for corporations in the future.
Companies targeting the sensibilities of the young often tout their social missions. Tom’s Shoes and Warby Parker both have “buy a pair, give a pair” programs. Chipotle highlights its sustainability efforts. And Starbucks has promoted fair trade coffee, marriage equality and racial justice more or less successfully. In each case, transparency about corporate practices serves as a check on puffery.
Social mission is even more important when it comes to recruiting. At business school recruiting events, it is almost obligatory that companies describe their LEED-certified workplaces, LGBT-friendly human resource practices and community outreach efforts.
Moreover, our employer signals something about our identity. Value alignment is part of why people stay at their job, and among many millennials, socially progressive values – particularly around LGBT issues – are almost a given.
In this situation, corporate activism may be the sensible course of action, at least when it comes to LGBT issues. According to the Pew Research Center, for example, support for same-sex marriage has increased from 31 percent in 2004 to 55 percent today, and there is little reason to expect a reversal.
Risks remain
Even as trends lead to more corporate activism, the reaction hasn’t always been as the businesses expected. Businesses on the vanguard of social issues themselves can become targets if and when they slip up.
When Starbucks attempted to promote a dialogue about race after the killings of Michael Brown and Eric Garner by police in 2014, its method – asking baristas to write “race together” on cups to encourage conversations – was widely ridiculed. Some even regarded the effort as a misguided marketing ploy rather than a sincere effort to promote understanding.
In 1998, William Clay Ford Jr. became chairman of Ford Motor and aimed to turn the company green by improving fuel economy and “greening” its production processes. The company even put an energy-efficient “living” roof on a truck assembly plant. Its continued reliance on its profitable line of gas-guzzling SUVs, however, prompted some to accuse Ford of hypocrisy.
Red and blue companies?
While prominent companies like Starbucks and Target have taken stances associated with liberal causes, some businesses have gone the other direction.
Hobby Lobby famously sought to abstain from providing funding for birth control for employees on religious grounds. Koch Industries, overseen by the famous Koch Brothers, has long been a lightning rod for boycotts due to the right-wing proclivities of its dominant owners. And small businesses across the country are not always shy in advertising their conservative political orientations.
As states have seemingly divided into red (for conservative) and blue (for liberal), might we expect the same thing from corporations, as consumers and employees drift toward the brands that best represent their views – red companies and blue companies?
It is already easy to look up political contributions by companies and their employees. For example, Bloomberg, Alphabet and the Pritzker Group lean Democratic; Oracle, Chevron and AT&T tend Republican.
In the current electoral climate, it is not hard to imagine this continuing.
Companies, which in the past tended to stay neutral on divisive social and political issues, are increasingly taking a stand. What's behind the change?
A 31-year-old woman writes: “Like every girl, I spent many nights through adolescence leaning into my bedroom mirror, wondering why my body looked nothing like it should.”
She talks about her battles with body shaming, and the toll they took on her health and concludes that the image of flawless beauty that we’re sold in our films and other media is a lie.
The 31-year-old is Sonam Kapoor, one of the leading ladies and fashionistas of Bollywood who is known equally for her giggling and her ability to speak her mind. Sonam’s revelations are not new. That celebrities go under the knife, take Botox injections, suffer from eating disorders and resort to Photoshop when all else fails is public knowledge.
Social media platforms abound with articles showing how celebrities have aged or look before and after make-up, surgery, and weight loss. Sonam’s piece is still worth a discussion, though, because the acknowledgement is coming from an insider who has lived the story and not merely witnessed it. And Sonam isn’t a has-been in the industry – she’s talking about her imperfections knowing we’ll watch out for them the next time we see her on the big screen.
It’s not just celebrities who are scrutinized for their looks, either. The attention extends to their families, whose famous-by-association members come under the scanner too. A few weeks ago, Tamil actor and politician, Khushbu Sundar’s daughter, Anandita, was trolled on her Instagram account.
Khushbu was quick to defend her daughter and confront the abuser. This is not the first time that the girl or her sister have faced body shaming or unfair comparisons to other celebrity children on social media.
What’s encouraging, though, is that the victims of such incidents are not shying away from calling out the abusers. Neither are they hiding from the media glare by deleting such offensive comments.
Considering that it’s celebrities who set the standards of beauty and style through popular media like films and advertisements, it’s important that they are vocal about such issues and take a stance. Some like Rajinikanth have been doing it for years now by hanging up the wig and wiping off the grease paint once their job is done. Others may hold on to theirs but still tell you the truth behind their flowing locks and glowing complexion. Whichever method they use, the acknowledgement and the conversation that follows it is a welcome alternative to the beauty obsession.
Ladakh -- once the hub of the ancient Silk Route -- is aptly described as a place where Buddhist spirituality and its ancient culture reign supreme amidst virgin nature.
It's a cold desert in northern India, dotted by tiny hamlets spread over the Himalayan peaks adjoining Tibet, where one can simultaneously have a close brush with sunburn and frostbite in summer.
Leh, the headquarters of Ladakh, is connected by road -- open only five months a year due to heavy snowfall -- from Srinagar and the distance of 434 km takes two days with a night halt at Kargil town; and almost equidistant from the picturesque Manali tourist resort in Himachal Pradesh via the picturesque Lahaul Valley. The latter route is more treacherous.
Travelling by air is the most convenient way to reach Leh, available round the year.
"It's a place where spirituality and culture co-exist, where traditional life is thriving by adapting green, modern technologies. It's truly called a crown jewel," remarked British tourist Alfred Martin.
For Malaysia-born Michelle Yeoh, famous for her role in Ang Lee's Oscar-winning martial arts love story "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", visiting the "rooftop of the world" is a spiritual journey. The analogy, however, was not exactly appropriate as the expression "Roof of the World" generally refers to Tibet.
"It's a spiritual journey for me every time. This land of high mountain passes always reminds me of a stronghold of Buddhist art, culture and spirituality and this spirit of purity is rarely seen elsewhere in the world," Yeoh told IANS.
She was in Ladakh earlier this month for the week-long Naropa festival, a once-in-12-year celebration of the birth anniversary of the great Indian saint Naropa, at the famed 17th century Hemis monastery, located 40 km from Leh.
"From July till late October is the best period to explore ancient monasteries and trek to a host of mountain passes," remarked tour operator Sonam Dawa in Leh.
The recently concluded weeklong Naropa festival that witnesses unveiling of a 60-foot-tall silk embroidery brocade of Buddha Amitabha at the newly-built Naro Palace near the Hemis Monastery, some 40 km from Leh in Jammu and Kashmir.
Ladakh reported a tourism boom in 2015, attracting 146,501 visitors, including 19,075 foreigners, up more than 25 percent from the previous year, according to the local administration.
This year, till July, it saw 161,444 tourists and a majority of the foreigners were from Israel, France, Britain and the US.
The entire Ladakh region is populated mainly by tribals. The climatic conditions are harsh as much of the land is a cold desert where the mercury remains below minus 30 degrees Celsius in winter for weeks on end.
The staple food is barley, wheat, peas, rice, rapeseed and salted tea mixed with yak butter.
From the world-acclaimed Hemis monastery to Druk Padma Karpo School, also known as "Rancho's School" after the Aamir Khan character in the film '3 Idiots', these places speak about the unique spirit of Ladakh, from an ancient past to the innovative present.
Built in 1630 by Druk Staktsang Raspa, a student of the fifth Gyalwang Drukpa, the monastery holds the Hemis Festival every year in summer in honour of Guru Padmasambhava, the eight century Indian guru revered for spreading Buddhism in the Himalayas.
The monastery's museum is a repository of an astounding 1,500 artefacts, some dating back 1,400 years.
Just an hour's steep uphill hike from the Hemis Monastery takes you to the Gotsang cave and retreat centre, a spiritual journey.
Chemdrey, one of Ladakh's greatest fortress monasteries, is 45 km from Leh, en route to the picturesque Nubra Valley and the world's highest salt water lake Panggong that freezes in winter.
The statute of Padmasambhava is the most important statue in the Chemdrey monastery.
The Shrey Palace, located 15 km south of Leh, houses a 12-foot statute of Buddha in the temple of Shakyamuni, one of the largest metal statues in Ladakh.
The palace, which boasts of a view of 108 stupas , is owned by a royal family of Ladakh. Monks of the Drukpa lineage are taking care of it.
Adventure and thrills lie west of Leh.
The mighty Indus and Zanskar rivers are popular for whitewater rafting. The place where the blue waters of the Zanskar and the green of the Indus join, some 36 km from Leh, is known for its most beautiful views.
There is also the famous Sikh shrine, Gurdwara Patar Sahib, managed by the Indian Army, 20 km from Leh.
Getting to Leh
How to travel: In summer, by public or private transport. From Manali to Leh via Keylong; From Srinagar to Leh via Kargil.
Leh is connected by air from Delhi and Jammu.
Where to stay in Leh: Small hotels, guest houses and even homestays with local people. Interestingly, there are no houses left in Leh, only guest houses.
Buddhist leader The Gyalwang Drukpa, the spiritual head of the 1,000-year-old Drukpa Order, is promoting homestays among the locals by adopting eco-friendly ways.
(Vishal Gulati was in Leh at the invitation of the Gyalwang Drukpa. He can be contacted at vishal.g@ians.in)
It's a cold desert in northern India, dotted by tiny hamlets spread over the Himalayan peaks adjoining Tibet, where one can simultaneously have a close brush with sunburn and frostbite in summer.
If you called someone in Chennai a “Poromboke”, chances are that you’ll end up offending them. A “Poromboke” in Madras bashai is a good-for-nothing person who loiters around aimlessly. Yet, here’s a song from Kaber and Tenma, featuring “The Temple Monkeys”, that reclaims the word.
Watch:
“Poromboke” land refers to open spaces that belong to the government.
The satirical song serves as a quick explainer for what happened in December 2015, when the city of Chennai was flooded. While it was a natural disaster, much of the damage was caused due to encroachment, especially of water bodies, and unplanned construction.
“Poromboke” land, the song says, is not for you or me, it’s for everybody. It’s this land that turns into a lake when it rains and it’s essential that it is left as it is. People who have sold “Poromboke” land and built buildings on it do not care for the consequences of their actions. In the end, when the water reaches our steps, the song suggests, all our activities will come to a grinding halt. Unless the “Poromboke” saves us.
During the Chennai floods, the natural drainage systems, primarily the Ennore Creek, were choked and the high volumes of water that had collected because of the incessant rains drained out very slowly. This is what led to the large scale destruction that the city saw.
Read more about the Ennore Creek and how it was killed here.
“Your face is your identity. It is what you present to the world and the world judges you by it. What happens when that identity Is destroyed? How do you find it again?” asks filmmaker Paromita Vohra.
This is one of the many reasons that “Priya’s Mirror”, a comic book featuring a woman who rides a tiger, tells the stories of acid attack survivors.
Priya’s Mirror is written by Paromita Vohra, a documentary filmmaker and writer, illustrated by Dan Goldman, and co-created by Indian-American filmmaker Ram Devineni. Because of its co-relation with rape, the team chose to address acid attacks as a sequel to “Priya’s Shakti”, a story about a rape survivor, which emerged as a means address gender-based violence after the 2012 gangrape of Jyoti Singh in Delhi.
“The patriarchy, the social stigma and the attitude towards victims are the same in both. In fact, I think the lack of empathy for acid attack survivors is ten times more because their scars are visible,” Ram told Geeta Pandey for BBC.
In “Priya’s Shakti”, Priya turned to goddess Parvati when she was rejected by her society after being gangraped. In the sequel, she joins hands with a group of acid attack survivors to defeat the demon, Ahankar (which translates to ‘ego’ or ‘arrogance’).
Like the first comic in the series, the second one also draws on mythological elements to further the story. Priya rides a tiger, which likens her otherwise mortal character to goddess Durga. The reason, explains Paromita, is that no story is complete without involving people.
“There is already a culture of superheroes. The comic series combines this popular culture with mythological elements – stories of demons, gods and goddesses, along with elements of magic, which many of us have grown up reading – to put across a larger philosophical and social idea,” she says.
Priya also helps the survivors emancipate themselves by looking into the “mirror of love”. This is significant because of the scarring that acid attacks cause. Survivor and fashion designer Monica Singh, who features as one of the main characters in Priya’s Mirror, told BBC that looking at her scarred face in the mirror was one of the most difficult things that she had to do.
“The mirror of love is meant to encourage survivors to look beyond their scars and within themselves and realise that they are more than just their faces,” Paromita says.
The inherently gendered nature of acid attacks is also something Priya’s Mirror endeavours to highlight. “Acid attacks are rooted in the violence of masculinity and the inability to handle rejection,” observes Paromita.
However, she also says that we need to look beyond the binary of perpetrator and victim. “It is extremely important to me while making art, we imagine change. The idea here is to see how transforming yourself is your own prerogative. That is why at the end, Priya gives the mirror of love, which is merely an instrument, to the demon, so that even he has a chance at changing himself with introspection. It ends on that open note,” she says.
Apart from Monica Singh, the comic also features survivor Natalia Ponce de Leon from Columbia, which also happens to be the country with the highest number of acid attacks. In keeping with the project’s incorporation of augmented reality through an app, the second book will also do something similar, based on Natalia’s ‘The Last Mask’ Campaign.
Watch the video of the campaign here:
The augmented reality application Blippar will allow people to put on the mask and share the photo to raise awareness about acid attacks.
The comic book will be unveiled at the New York Film Festival (September 30-October 6). It will also be released at the Mumbai Comic Con between October 22-23. The comic will be available in print as well as digital versions, which can be downloaded for free in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian and Hindi.
‘Hyper’ is a psychedelic mix of superhero comics and mythology. It’s possible to enjoy it if you are in a soporific state and don’t care for trivialities like a storyline. There isn’t one and the sooner you accept it, the better it is for your mental equilibrium.
Ram Pothineni plays Surya, a young man who deeply loves his father, Narayan Murthy (Satyaraj). In his own words, Surya is ‘crazy’ about his father and will do anything to make the latter happy. Even if it involves following women around, trying to size up their backsides. Yes, you read that right.
In true epic style, when the ‘noble’ parent bestows an absurd notion on his devout ward, Surya decides to marry a ‘mystery’ girl - whose retreating backside is the only thing he is familiar with - only because his father proclaims that any family that she marries into, would be a blessed one.
The tragedy…sorry…‘comedy’ that follows has the hero and his friends running around the city of Vizag, checking out women’s backs, clicking snaps on their mobiles without the women’s knowledge, and trying to find the woman with ‘the’ backside. And this is just a mere whiff of the omnipresent misogyny in the entire movie.
The less said about the hackneyed plot, the better. Satyaraj as Narayan Murthy is an upright government servant, and he runs into the usual problems that honest people in a ‘bureaucrazy’ run into. It’s up to Surya to protect his father from the system, and he does this with plenty of meaningless violence and mayhem.
In the process, a sincere Satyaraj delivers a few fiery speeches on the importance of public servants discharging their duty, the ‘message’ that director Santosh Srinivas probably hopes will save his film from being judged as utterly nonsensical.
The problem though, is that way too many films have already pegged their flimsy storylines on this ‘message’, and it fails to have any more impact on the audience than a primary school elocution contest.
Rao Ramesh plays a corrupt minister breathing down Narayan Murthy’s neck. He has a number of shouty dialogues to spout and several illogical things to do, but he still manages to entertain and provide some respite to the long suffering audience.
Rashi Khanna, playing Surya’s love interest Banumathi, is given the enviable task of convincing our hero that her ‘front’ is good enough for him, and that he should give up the pursuit of an ideal ‘back’. No prizes for guessing that in an awesome (not) turn of events, she is the proud owner of the ideal ‘front’ and ‘back’. Phew!
Considering the camera focusses more on Rashi Khanna’s navel than her face, it’s only fair to decline commenting on the actor’s performance.
Ram Pothineni has good screen presence and does well in action sequences, but his character is so poorly written that much of the effort he puts into the film goes down the drain.
He comes across as a cocky, wayward young man, with a rather weird obsession with his father, that would get a psychoanalyst excited but not the average movie-goer.
Shoddy editing and too many songs - even when hummable - cripple the film, only making you painfully aware of all the time you’ve wasted sitting on your own backside.
A woman talks about the first time she felt attracted to a boy and how a single touch sent electricity coursing through her. A man talks about his first sexual experiments with his male friends before he discovered he liked women more. Another girl talks about how people thought she identified as bisexual because she wanted to rebel.
Countless voices talking about exploring bodies, sensuality and sexual experiences, all different from each other, holding their own. That the world of sex and sexuality is more diverse than our language can describe is something many of us find it hard to comprehend. But Agents of Ishq, a nine-month-old bilingual website (in Hindi and English) endeavours to do that by showing it like it is with a desi twist.
Log on to the site and there’s no clinical jargon or boring twin colour theme. Instead, you’re greeted by funky colours and the tag line “We give sex a good name!” In the background, three men with hearts on their faces ride a scooter, a man and a woman holding hands over the moon (literally), and what appear to be two ungendered figures (one a fairy, one holding a laptop), kissing. Bollywood memes and desi headlines highlight the articles.
But with all information (and more) available at the click of a button, courtesy the internet, what was the need for a website like Agents of Ishq? Paromita Vohra, creative director of the website, says that the impetus was from the fact that young Indians are becoming more sexually active, they do not know where to access the right information about sex.
“Porn and Yash Raj Films don’t really count as comprehensive sources. It’s either that or friends. Other sources for sex education on the web use impersonal and use clinical language, and are also rather westernized, often not customizable to our socio-cultural setting,” Paromita says.
Agents of Ishq uses a variety of multimedia formats like video, podcasts, surveys and workshops to talk about issues of gender, sexuality, consent and much more. The platform is trying to make accessible to its readers what Paromita describes as “comprehensive sexuality education”, which has three aspects: sex education, sexual experience and sexual etiquette. “We need to move beyond the physical body,” insists Paromita.
With refreshing videos, features like ‘Sexy Saturday Playlists’, a singing condom called ‘Munna’ who encourages you to ask him anything, and custom illustrations and memes, Agents of Ishq has plenty to offer, even if you think you are a sex guru. But it’s the first-hand accounts which offer the most powerful insights. Written in first hand and recorded as podcasts, these personal experiences are narrated in a simple, candid manner. They reveal how unique each sexual experience is, even when it does not involve sex.
The individuality of each experience is something Paromita says they want to preserve, even if it means not having clickbait-y pictures or headlines. “We don’t want to box experiences into preconceived notions. So whether it is a heterosexual or a queer person who wants to contribute something for us, we put it on the same plane, without differentiation,” she says.
The core team of Agents of Ishq is all of three people. But with time, people have come forward with their contributions. “I think that’s because we try to treat each story as a special one. We go back and forth, creating illustrations and treating it with a lot of care. I guess people see it as a place where they can talk comfortably and safely,” Paromita says.
The need for a comfortable and safe space is something Paromita has observed often in her experience of conducting workshops and curating content for the website. “There is a lot of shame and secrecy with which sex is seen. At the same time, there’s a lot of pressure to “act cool” and appear unbothered about it. Women are freer talking about their sexual lives but many of them don’t feel respected by men – something which isn’t really discussed. People of every gender, anywhere in India, from Lucknow to Dharavi are facing similar issues,” Paromita observes.
With Agents of Ishq, the idea is also to explore the grey areas between love, sex and desire and not necessarily treat them as separate from one another. “Hence the word ‘ishq’. Because it subsumes all three meanings,” she says.
Paromita Vohra, Creative Director at Agents of Ishq
The Indian cricket board's problems with the Rajendra Mal Lodha Committee recommendations on administrative reforms and the Cauvery river water issue are being keenly watched.
Karnataka is taking refuge behind its elected legislative assembly while the politicians in the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) do not have the backing of a sports law to argue before the apex court.
The Supreme Court is livid with the board for not taking the Lodha committee's specific instructions of carrying only routine business at its Annual General Meeting (AGM) and going ahead with the appointment of a working committee, a standing committee and a selection committee. The meeting also re-elected Ajay Shirke as the Board secretary.
The Lodha panel wanted all these appointments to be done under the new governance rules accepted by the apex court. The appointment of Anurag Thakur as director at the International Cricket Council (ICC) and Asian Cricket Council (ACC) and Sharad Pawar's nomination as alternate director for ICC made at the September 21 AGM will be null and void.
The board has pushed itself into a corner and it is to be seen how much of the new Memorandum of Association Rules (MAR) the board will adopt on Saturday at its Special General Meeting (SGM) after its scheduled meeting on Friday was adjourned as some board members did not have the letters of authorisation from their associations.
Friday was the deadline to implement the Lodha Committee recommendations.
As if to thumb its nose at the Lodha Panel, the board appointed Justice Markandey Katju as head of its four-member legal committee and the former Supreme Court judge saw the whole exercise as "judicial legislation".
He told The Hindu that "the Supreme Court had over-reached itself and indulged in judicial legislation unmindful of the fact that there are several larger Bench decisions prohibiting the same".
Agreeing that their intention to clean up cricket may be good, Katju said it cannot be done throwing the law to the winds. He was as convincing in arguing the board's case as Lodha is in overhauling the board's governance system.
The comments by a fellow legal luminary may have infuriated the Lodha committee which, in its status report to the apex court, sought the supersession of the existing board set-up and appointing in its place a panel of administrators to ensure the smooth transition from the old system to the one recommended by Judges Ashok Bhasin and R. Raveendran, besides Lodha.
The Supreme Court, which more or less accepted the Lodha Panel report, was equally furious with the board. Chief Justice Thirath Singh Thakur, heading a three-member bench, asked whether the board thought it can violate court orders and get away with this. He made it clear that it should fall in line, failing which the Court will make it do. Strong words, indeed.
The Board, which has also filed a review petition, has been asked to explain by October 6 its non-compliance reported by the Lodha panel in its status report, but by then it would have implemented a good part of the report.
Taking heart from Justice Katju's arguments, the thinking in the Board apparently is to push for a Sports Act that can restore some of its claims. The politicians in the Board are trying their best to get a consensus among the political parties, but not all are willing to take it as a priority issue and it is still to go to the cabinet.
Even if the Sports Act comes into force, the board can only benefit if its provisions are seen running counter to the Lodha Panel's recommendations. There won't be many provisions in the Act that will bail the board out.
The board itself had all along opposed coming under the Sports Act but now it is willing to look at it if it can help nullify the Lodha panel recommendations. Even the Sports Act may be of little help as it will be overarching and not specifically for cricket.
So, as things stand, there is little hope for the board unless the points raised by Katju are seriously addressed by the apex court. The review petition is usually rejected and thereafter the only course left is to go in for a curative petition.
A curative petition is as good as asking for a larger bench to address the issue and this is not all that easy.
(Veturi Srivatsa is a senior journalist. The views expressed are personal. He can be reached at sveturi@gmail.com)
As if to thumb its nose at the Lodha Panel, the board appointed Justice Markandey Katju as head of its four-member legal committee and the former SC judge saw the whole exercise as "judicial legislation".
Dark skin is not so beautiful in India -- or so it seems from the flourishing business of skin-lightening and whitening creams, demands for "fair and beautiful girls" on matrimonial sites, and mockery of the dusky skin tone.
But those reaching out for skin-lightening solutions beware -- experts warn against excessive use of such products and therapies. It can lead to life-long complications, they say.
"Many creams contain steroids and they can cause permanent damage to the skin from long-term use," Kuldeep Singh, Senior Consultant Plastic, Cosmetic and Reconstructed Surgery at Apollo Hospitals, New Delhi, told IANS.
He said that healthy skin can be achieved regardless of complexion and that skin treatments cannot lead to lasting or permanent change in complexion.
"Glutathione is a drug which has been advertised all over the Internet as a skin-whitening agent. The truth is that glutathione is a very strong antioxidant present in our body which gets depleted with age or illness. The only scientifically-documented efficacy of glutathione injections is to reduce toxicity of certain anti-cancer drugs.
"The rest is all vague, and not scientifically proven," he added.
Aakriti Kochar, beauty and make-up expert at Oriflame India, pointed out that skin-lightening creams can only lighten the melanin in the skin to a certain extent. "They can't drastically change one's skin colour.
"A lot of factors, depending on the treatment and quality of one's skin, determine the risk factors involved in such treatments. Overdoing these can lead to severe skin problems as melanin is lightened, causing more exposure to sun rays and skin quality might be affected, leading to depleting in layers," Kochar told IANS.
There are many cosmetic brands which endorse skin-lightening and whitening creams, and indulge in blatant marketing to sell them. Of course, there are takers too.
According to market researcher AC Nielsen, in 2010, India's whitening-cream market was worth $432 million (Rs 2,600 crore). In 2012, Indians were said to have consumed 233 tonnes of skin-whitening products.
Two years later, the obsession with "whiteness" scaled a new level when a brand came up with a product designed to "brighten" the vagina.
The skin colour debate has time and again surfaced in the Indian and international cinema market. The latest instance involves acclaimed Indian actress Tannishtha Chatterjee, who has expressed outrage upon facing a "racist attack" on a nationally-televised comedy show, for mocking her dark skin tone.
The actress is especially upset with how this deeply-rooted bias against colour has prevailed over the years.
Blossom Kochhar, Chairperson of the Blossom Kochhar Group of Companies, agreed that even in the 21st century, there seems to be no sign of a decrease in the number of people running after fair skin.
"People do not understand that to look beautiful, you need a glowing, clear and blemish-free skin. Not necessarily fair skin, as it does not symbolise beauty," Kochhar, a veteran in the Indian beauty industry, told IANS.
Stressing that skin-lightening solutions do not make one's skin fair but merely helps in brightening the skin, she added: "We should appreciate beautiful skin and that should not depend on the complexion. One can look beautiful by maintaining a clean and glowing skin by following a proper cleansing, toning, oiling and moisturising (CTOM) regime," she added.
Also, the conditioning needed for people to accept and appreciate people of all skin tones must be done from childhood.
"Any bias in society exists because enough has not been done to remove it. Education should be given from childhood to sensitise everybody not to discriminate against any human being on grounds of skin colour, race, religion, nationality, gender or profession. And this should start from the parents," Kuldeep Singh said.
Ranjith Balakrishnan is a well-known film director, screenwriter, producer and actor from the Malayalam film industry. Although Ranjith’s female characters could be considered progressive, it’s not as if they are free of patriarchal trappings.
Take for instance, “Oru Maymasa Pulariyil” (1987), Ranjith’s debut story which was directed by V.R. Gopinath.
The heroine Shari in “Oru Maymasa Pulariyil” is a radical woman and, at times, you hate her guts. She is one of a kind—she buys liquor for her dad, rides a pillion, wears only jeans and shirts, picks up fights with boys and speaks her mind.
And yet such a “progressively” sketched heroine decides to end her life in a moment of despair because her lover rejects her! This is typical of Ranjith’s celluloid heroines. They come, they speak their mind, they light up the screens and then they fizzle out just as quickly. They don’t conquer. They leave that to the male of the species.
The bravehearts and the weaklings
Following that seemingly nonconformist entry, Ranjith continued to script films. However, the heroines who emerged from his pen never quite stepped out of the ordinary.
Bhanumati (Revathi) in “Devasuram” (1993) is the proverbial lioness—obstinate, strong-willed and ambitious. She is impervious to the clout of the arrogant, feudal, rich brat Neelakandan (Mohanlal). When humiliated, she doesn’t flinch; rather she is determined to make him pay for his misdeeds.
But alas, Ranjith brings her to his feet, in the guise of ardent love— “I don’t want anything. I don’t want a career, all I want is a chance to serve you, my lord,” she implores him. It’s mortifying to see Neelakandan cut her down to size.
The same year, Ranjith came up with the complicated tale of a woman who is torn between her departed lover and his twin brother—“Mayamayooram” (1993). There are constant references in the film about a woman’s identity being inexplicably linked to that of a man. Suddenly this ambitious, talented, urban woman (Revathi) is condensed to a desperate, love-starved selfish female.
Take the poorly made “Rock N’ Roll” (2007), which is about a self-absorbed male lead (Mohanlal) who considers “his disturbance to be a blessing." Ranjith sketches two women here—one is unattached, sports a bob cut, and makes a living as a dance instructor. There are subtle hints to suggest that she is promiscuous. While the “heroine” is the mild-mannered, delicate playback singer Daya (Lakshmi Rai) who ultimately is made to believe that her “greatest blessing” would be to marry this man!
The heroine (Manju Warrier) in “Krishnagudiyil Oru Pranayakalathu” (1997) becomes an object of tussle between two men—she clearly doesn’t have a mind of her own.
In “Aaram Thampuran” (1997), the feisty Unnimaya (Manju Warrier), who initially gives us hope with her spirited verbal pow-wows with the hero, is soon left in the lurch. As she eavesdrops on Jagannathan’s (Mohanlal) conversation with his “modern girlfriend” where he declares his love for Unnimaya, her eyes light up with joy and gratitude. And then he adds that worn-out patronising dialogue—“It is not just love, I want to give her a life.”
He repeats this trope with Manju Warrier in “Summer in Bethlehem” (1998) where the tomboyish and bold Abhirami is faced with the proposition of marrying a man against her wishes as it is her lover’s last desire. In the very next scene, bafflingly, she seems to have come to terms with it.
In “Valyettan”(2000), the hero Madhavankutty (Mammootty) marries a woman to “save her from a life of solitude”. He is the valiant knight, yet he seems to be more worried about saving his face in front of his five brothers than his future wife’s trauma.
Ranjith’s fixation with the alpha male hero reached alarming heights in “Narasimham” (2000) and “Ravanaprabhu” (2001). The former has a pro-active heroine (Aishwarya) but the hero (Mohanlal) agrees to marry her as long as she cuddle up, bears his children and is ready to live under his shadow! And in his directorial venture, “Ravanaprabhu”, the heroine Janaki’s (Vasundhara Das) magnanimous fiancé passes her over to her “childhood hero” Karthikeyan (Mohanlal).
Strong, but not enough
To be fair, “Mizhi Randilum” (2003) is a woman-centric film—with two diametrically opposite, but equally strong women at the helm. One is the self-sacrificing Bhadra (Kavya Madhavan), a nurse, with a family of senior citizens to feed and the other is the smarter Bhama, her twin sister, studying for medicine. And whom does the hero Krishnakumar (Dileep) want to wed? He reasons with his wheelchair-bound sister, “I want to marry Bhadra as she will look after you unselfishly.” Meaning: The career-minded Bhama wouldn’t. And pray tell me, does anybody bother about the women’s choices?
“Chandrolsavam” (2005) is about a man’s (Mohanlal) eternal pining for his childhood sweetheart (Meena). Yet another Ranjith staple of a heroic alpha male turning the woman’s dreary life around.
Cheeru (Shweta Menon) from “Paleri Manikyam: Oru Pathirakolapathakathinte Katha” (2007) is one of his most captivating heroines—sensuous, licentious and unapologetic. The film was based on a story written by T.P Rajeevan. Married to a man who is unable to fulfil her needs, Cheeru gets into an open relationship with the village landlord. Yet, she is powerless to stop him from making amorous advances towards her daughter-in-law.
In “Njaan” (2014), set in a somewhat similar milieu, you have the male lead (Dulquer Salmaan) and his powerless women—a poor maid who is forced to have an abortion, a tribal woman whom he romances for a brief period, and his blind wife.
A few good women
Padma (Khushbu) from “Kaiyoppu” (2007), Padmashree (Priyamani) in “Pranchiyettan and the Saint” (2010) and Meera (Kaniha) in “Spirit” (2012) are among the few female characters in Ranjith’s films who are somewhat independent and sensible.
This writer who gave a new lease of life to Malayalam cinema when it was ailing, needs to introspect about the changing grammar of the art. May be, the change can start with a dynamic, modern, updated, progressive woman protagonist. Better scripts, better male leads and women who have more to do than pander to an alpha man’s ego. Or is that too much to wish for?
(This article first appeared in Fullpicture.in. You can read the original article here. The News Minute has syndicated the content.)
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